Bride Price

Blade to bride?

In front of me is a victim of this backward tradition, Fatima (not her name), a lady bordering on her mid-thirties. The room is filled with the hassle and bustle of the streets, portraying an image of the ever busy Nairobi city life. She draws back from her banal talk about her daily routine. The office is bright, an array of light gleaming through her brown eyes almost as if to see through her soul. Her facial expression seems sunken, as if reminiscing her lowest moment in her life. She’s definitely absent-minded, swaying on her executive office chair consumed by a plethora of thoughts. 

She licks her chapped lips and faintly starts by taking us almost 20 years back, just another part of her daily routine. She grew up in a small town of Machakos and studies at the most reputable primary school by the name Township at the time, she is the brightest in her class. To her education is the key to success, or so has she been told from time to time by her single-mother who endured so much despair that life had to offer. Her father abandoned her or in her words, 

“was consumed with his work that he forgot about his paternal duties.” 

She also insisted that having a father figure never made her bitter. 

“I absolutely understood his point of view.” 

Her mother traveled for business in order to provide for the family of 3. Fatima was hurriedly gulping her tea and ‘anjera’ prepping for school just after the ‘fajr’ prayers. Her aunt then approached her with a change of plan upon her schooling that day; they were to travel to the countryside apparently to visit a long distant family member.

 “I was a child, and hearing that I was to go for a trip just made me anxious for the trip.

So we departed for it.

Whatever was in store for me I couldn’t have foretold it. It was ages back but I can vividly picture and feel the environment. The room was dark, the air was stale and cold and nothing close to a vacation. I was suspicious of the whole event, the moment an old woman approached together with my aunt acting distant and all so distracted. A sharp reflective razor was staring at me, incense was burnt and the heavy smoke was blinding my vision. I wafted my hand trying to make clear of the situation, and that’s when I saw my aunt approaching and made a shocking request. 

“Open your legs she said, it is time to transform you to a woman...” 

I think I became unconscious; the whole event was way beyond my pain receptors. The room reeked of iron, incense and the sight of blood still troubles me, I developed a phobia. My aunt then told me that I was then eligible for marriage. It was a traumatic experience, who knew bride price could be that expensive.  

The type Fatimah underwent was the type 1 (clitoridectomy) form as described by the World Health Organization (WHO). It is also known as sunnah to many who don’t understand that it’s not a religious requirement unlike the common belief. Many innocent and naive women fall into the falsehood of this statement; credit due to some religious figures translating the ever so simple scriptures from the holy book, to their ambiguous misinterpretation.   

Through my research, I encountered so many elderly women who believed it was obligatory. Some said it was what made them eligible for marriage. Others did it, so as not to be the social pariah. Others weren’t educated thus didn’t understand their rights or medical requirements that they would have to suffer. There’s also the socio-cultural aspect where the women believe that they are bound by culture without demur and must simply conform to it. They insisted that it gives one an identity in the community as it also enhances their femininity. 

Many arguments frequently made by religious cleric’s stress that discriminatory actions are not to be entertained within religious faith. It further condemns atrocious acts such as FGM/C and condemns any act that may inflict one to physical pain. In the case of Fatimah, the fundamental factor that made her susceptible to it, hence it is the job of religious clerics to interpret religious scriptures and not FGM/C activists and researchers. 

 The Somali culture can be perceived as a piece of embroidery that has been interlinked with so many complexities forming its beauty from controversial debates of cultural injustices and anachronistic practices  like FGM/C to having its  multifaceted deep enriched culture endowed whose idea has now been romanticized. 

FGM/C is the process of removing external female genitalia for non-medical purposes exposing them to psychological, physical and mental problems. 98% of Somali girl child’s are exposed to this tradition. Its presence has had a global concern and has transcended beyond geographical boundaries. This is a narrative that is however changing.

Change

Various International Organizations and protective International Laws through media promotion have stepped in to curb and contain the matter. The process over the years has become successful. Education and people creating awareness of the matter by telling their stories thus creating a global presence has improved the lives of many unfortunate youth. Organizations such as the Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) , United Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the constitution to name but a few stress upon the protection and promotion of rights of women and children. There have also been very many small programs and projects in the country set up to help and also educate such communities, hence the percentages of these FGM/C cases have plummeted.

changing the narrative

The case of Fatimah wasn’t a lost hope case. She managed to finish her studies up to her master’s education and is now a managing director of her marketing and branding company in Nairobi. She also insists that the event moulded her to to be part of the new feminist wave. she wants to be indepent on her own salary, pay and never be subservient to any form of male figure. 

"It is about time we get to be architects of our our future and bricklayers to our journey paving way to our goals." 

FGM/C doesn’t have to be the basis of marriage. Girls should have the rights protected until they are mature enough to make their own decisions. This act needs to be eradicated and positive change brought in regions affected by cultural malpractice. Awareness, education and women empowerment should be encouraged to promote gender equity and boost the morale of women.